Friday, February 14, 2014
Ok, so it is Friday, the Made to Crave Blog Hop was yesterday...but yesterday I was a little busy. In the morning my husband, oldest son and I ran errands at Noon we had an appointment for my son to be evaluated my autism. Unfortunately we had to travel about an hour away to get that done. Lots of time on the road yesterday.
I did discover a couple important truths about myself this week though. When I give up my sins to God, he is faithful to deal with them. In my last blog I talked about discovering a spirit of gluttony in myself. A need to overeat and "supersize" everything I ate. The root of this spirit goes back a long way and I won't bore anyone with the details. But the moment that I confessed this and gave it over to God, the truth that I have been living under changed.
It moved from, "If I don't eat this pizza, french fries, the large portion of spaghetti now, I may never get it again" the "if one hot dog is good then two hot dogs are better" too:
2 Corinthians 12:9 - "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness...."
The truth is, God's grace, provision, love is sufficient....it will never run out....there is no need for me to be a glutton in the way that I eat. I live in the United States of America. My husband brings home a sufficient paycheck, we live in a wonderful home provided by the church that we serve, we have two vehicles to get around in, my children get a good education at the public school, I don't have to struggle, worry or beg for my families next meal, I go to the kitchen and find things there to feed them and myself.
And the truth is that only in His power, my weakness, my sin, my mind, can be overcome. I am my own worst enemy when it comes to the food choices and willingness to exercise.
I have spent years believing God's truth in so many areas but hanging on to Satan's lies about my weight, will power and abilities to do something about it. I have been morbidly obese for almost 9 years when I was 210 pounds at the birth of my oldest son. 18 months later I delivered our youngest son weighing 232. My highest weight got to 241 a couple of years ago. I didn't see myself as obese or I would even say fat until the past couple of years. I have always clung to my internal image of myself as the skinny girl that I was at 12.
The truth hurts sometimes but for me, this has been good. If you don't think that there is anything wrong with you, why fix it?
I am ready to believe God's truth through his scriptures and ready to listen to what he has to teach me. I was particularly hit by Chapter 11 in this weeks Made to Crave book by Lysa TerKeurst where she uses a quote from Ruth Graham talking about being victims..."Either we can be victimized and become victims, or we can be victimized and rise above it. Often it is easier to play the victim than take off our masks and asked for help. We get comfortable with our victim status. It becomes our identity and is hard to give up...."
She goes on to use Deuteronomy 2:3 (NASB) "You have circled this mountain long enough. Now turn north."
I have moved around the same mountain of weight gain and laziness for more then long enough. It is time for me to turn NORTH! Lift my hands toward heaven.