Thursday, February 27, 2014

Intentional Sacrifice

So six weeks ago, I started this journey with P31 Online Bible Studies thru Lysa TerKeurst's Book "Made to Crave".

Now I know what you might be thinking, "Yeah, one more diet book......"

I have to admit that at first I kinda thought the same thing...however, what I have discovered in this book is a clearer picture of the "why I need to" and luckily I have found my "want to" to become healthier. Huge deal, huge difference in the way that this past 6 weeks have gone.  As of last week I was at the edge of a 10 lbs marker. I was about, if I lose 1 lbs this week, to move into the 2-teens. Now while I would be happier if I was hanging on the cliff of the 200 lbs marker, I will take this, because I have been able to maintain this weight loss and I have no intention in letting my weight slip back into the 230's.

What will lasting, sustainable, discipline mean for me? Well, I think that it will look a lot like what these past 6 weeks have looked like.  Many more days of victory then days of slipping off the wagon.  Moving more and increasing energy....

I am not sure that I know how to articulate the true change that has taken place in my life that helps me know, that even though I will have days that I don't want to eat right, or heart has changed and I know that with God's help I can have the finally victory. It may take years to get to that number that I really want, and perhaps I won't get there, but if my heart and my appetite has been changed, that is what really matters.  I have the ability to make the right choices.....I am just praying that Spring comes soon so that I can start jogging....something that I am being convicted to do. It is not possible right now with the negative wind chills and single digit temps, ice and snow!!  

Do I believe I can make the intentional sacrifice of the high fat foods that I love so much, do I think that I can make the sacrifice of time for exercise that my body needs so badly? Yes...yes I do.  Not by my strength but by the one that gives me strength.  Praise be to the Lord!

Thursday, February 20, 2014

Soul Filling Satisfaction

"He poured great draughts of water down parched throats; the starved and hungry got plenty to eat." Psalm 107:9 (MSG)

This promise is one for me today as much as it was when it was it was written to celebrate the Jews' return from their exile in Babylon. This promise reminds me of the promise that Jesus gave to the woman at the well for the living water that would forever satisfy her thirst.

In this weeks chapters, of the Made to Crave Bible Study written by Lysa TerKeurst, the titles are enough to make you stop and think "Overindulgence" and "Emotional Emptiness".  In reading these chapters and contemplating the questions at the back of the chapters, I have to admit I have a feeling of deja vu.

In the last couple of weeks, if you recall, I have discovered that I have a problem with gluttony which spurred on my weight gain over the years. So reading these chapters, gave me confirmation of the truth that God has been revealing to me through these five weeks of bible study. The most awesome thing that I have discovered over the years of walking with Jesus is that God doesn't want me to stay stuck in the places of my defeat, He wants to give me the forgiveness and victory over them.  And that my friends is #soul-filling satisfaction.

The truth is that my eating problems have a deeper root, one that God can remove in his mercy and I can, for the first time be free from. We all can!  I will still have to do the work to lose the weight. It took many years to put the weight so I can't expect it to come off overnight (although I do know that God is capable of even that miracle). I would ask for that but I know that he answer would be, it doesn't work that way.
Besides that, there is a huge lesson to be learned in working hard to reach your goals. It always makes me much less likely to take it for granted.

My purpose for walking down this path is not only to reach my physical goals, but to grow closer to God in the process.  To find that soul filling satisfaction not in things of this world but in Him. Those things that only God can fill in me.That would be the thing that I ask God for to help me feel a deep and soul-filling satisfaction...Fill me up with the living water Lord. Amen

Friday, February 14, 2014


Ok, so it is Friday, the Made to Crave Blog Hop was yesterday...but yesterday I was a little busy. In the morning my husband, oldest son and I ran errands at Noon we had an appointment for my son to be evaluated my autism.  Unfortunately we had to travel about an hour away to get that done.  Lots of time on the road yesterday.

I did discover a couple important truths about myself this week though. When I give up my sins to God, he is faithful to deal with them. In my last blog I talked about discovering a spirit of gluttony in myself.  A need to overeat and "supersize" everything I ate.  The root of this spirit goes back a long way and I won't bore anyone with the details. But the moment that I confessed this and gave it over to God, the truth that I have been living under changed.

It moved from, "If I don't eat this pizza, french fries, the large portion of spaghetti now, I may never get it again" the "if one hot dog is good then two hot dogs are better" too:

2 Corinthians 12:9 - "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness...."

The truth is, God's grace, provision, love is will never run out....there is no need for me to be a glutton in the way that I eat. I live in the United States of America. My husband brings home a sufficient paycheck, we live in a wonderful home provided by the church that we serve, we have two vehicles to get around in, my children get a good education at the public school, I don't have to struggle, worry or beg for my families next meal, I go to the kitchen and find things there to feed them and myself.

And the truth is that only in His power, my weakness, my sin, my mind, can be overcome. I am my own worst enemy when it comes to the food choices and willingness to exercise.

I have spent years believing God's truth in so many areas but hanging on to Satan's lies about my weight, will power and abilities to do something about it.  I have been morbidly obese for almost 9 years when I was 210 pounds at the birth of my oldest son.  18 months later I delivered our youngest son weighing 232.  My highest weight got to 241 a couple of years ago.  I didn't see myself as obese or I would even say fat until the past couple of years. I have always clung to my internal image of myself as the skinny girl that I was at 12.

 The truth hurts sometimes but for me, this has been good. If you don't think that there is anything wrong with you, why fix it?

I am ready to believe God's truth through his scriptures and ready to listen to what he has to teach me. I was particularly hit by Chapter 11 in this weeks Made to Crave book by Lysa TerKeurst where she uses a quote from Ruth Graham talking about being victims..."Either we can be victimized and become victims, or we can be victimized and rise above it.  Often it is easier to play the victim than take off our masks and asked for help. We get comfortable with our victim status. It becomes our identity and is hard to give up...."
She goes on to use Deuteronomy 2:3 (NASB) "You have circled this mountain long enough. Now turn north."

I have moved around the same mountain of weight gain and laziness for more then long enough. It is time for me to turn NORTH! Lift my hands toward heaven.

Thursday, February 6, 2014

Delighting in Obedience

There it is......the Blue Bunny Chocolate Ice Cream container staring at me in the refrigerator. It looks at me EVERYTIME I go to the freezer.  That happens several times a day....

This week the word of the week in the Proverbs 31 Online Bible Study that I am doing of the book Made to Crave by Lesa TerKeurst is #PEACE. This is week #3 of both the bible study and the changes to my eating and exercise habits that will get me to a healthy lifestyle.

Unfortunately the ice cream in the freezer will not do that! But in this week, I have found a peace in that ice cream container that I have resisted all week. It is a metaphor for my weight loss journey.  Chocolate ice cream is not a craving of mine but it is something I would gladly eat.

I have been staying away from refined sugars, putting sweetener in my coffee and staying away from candies, sweets, etc, etc.  While I can't say that I have even been a big sweet eater, sugar has been a staple in my diet. And a part of my frustration in giving up sugar is that I don't believe (as a nurse) that artificial sweeteners are a good idea.  There are too many chemicals in them and too little agreement from "experts" as to how safe they are.  With that said, I don't want to influence any one's decision about sweeteners but I will say I try to stay with sweetening products made from  natural products. Stevia and Agave nectar are two of my favorite when I need something for my morning coffee. Sorry....I can't do it black!

So, as I open my freezer to get my morning Jimmy Dean Delights sandwich or my Smart Ones frozen meal for lunch, I find that Chocolate Champion container looking at me.  It first it tauted me, now after 5 days, it makes me laugh.  Why??   Because I realized this week that I am the Champion, not the ice cream! of my least favorite words. However, scripture is full of reminders of how important it is.  And in truth, without obedience to my exercise routine or meal plan health will not improve. I was always pretty obedient to my parents until I hit college. It was there that I started making rebellious decisions. That was also when I rebelled against my Heavenly Father as well. So the idea of learning to Delight in Obedience especially as it relates to exercise and food is painful.

Why is it painful? Because I learned a truth about myself this week that hurts me to the core. It was revealed to me during my devotional and study time this week that I am a glutton. That is, what a lot of my issue with food is all about. Gluttony is defined is Webster's Dictionary as "excess in eating or drinking; greedy or excessive indulgence."

Proverbs 23:19-21 says "Listen, my son, and be wise, and keep your heart on the right path. Do not join those who drink too much wine or gorge themselves on meat, for drunkards and gluttons become poor, and drowsiness clothes them in rags."

Ouch!......The truth in that scripture convicted me.. I want to be wise, I want to keep my heart on the right path, I have been a glutton for food and during a different period of my life, material things as well (but that is a different story).  And if I look at the results of my gluttony, it is true that it has made me health, in spiritual wellness and emotional drowsiness. My excessive appetite has lead me to a poor eating habits, high blood pressure and a lazy lifestyle.  All of the things that I am fighting against right now.

So back to the container of ice cream in the I stared into the freezer yesterday, I realized that it was getting easier to shut the door without panging for a spoon to dig in to the container. God, in his mercy, has given his Holy Spirit with wisdom, guidance and love to heal me from this spirit of gluttony.  How do I know this? Well......I have started praying for God to replace the desire for eating to excess with a desire to eat less.  It sounds to simple, to easy, to good to be true...but since praying this way I have found a peace in my soul as I eat less at meals which is my downfall. I have found peace in the obedience of choosing better foods and eating less at one time.

I love the promise in Isaiah 45:3 - "I will give you treasures, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the Lord the God of Israel who summons you by name." It is the verse of the week in the study and I am taking it to my heart that as I do with less food, I am storing up treasures in heaven.

Now next week, I am going to tackle the exercise, right now I am going to close and go put in my walking DVD...and pray for Spring! And laugh at the Chocolate Ice Cream container in the refrigerator when I get my pre-portioned lunch out!

God bless you today and everyday with treasures beyond your wildest dreams!!!