Overwhelmed

"Over Whelmed" 

So this was me Saturday after a quick trip to our local Dollar Store (the only store in town). It has been one week since my return from the hospital after a bout with an bad infection and I have no endurance. But we really needed some things, TP and Trash Bags were on the top of the list. So there I went.

Last week I spend a lot of time in prayer because it seemed about all I could go. National news headlines were filled with death and tragedy and continued arguments over things going on around our federal government. I have been taking strong doses of steroids along with my antibiotics, and it seems that these meds make me an insomniac. Not the best when you are already sick and tired. So, I spent a lot of time trying to turn my sleepless mind back to prayer instead of worry.

I have not been able to return to our Sunday morning services yet because of my illness, so I spent some time in worship at my dining room table Sunday morning. It was wonderful!

Praise songs filled my head as I put on earphones and let my cell phone playlist fill my ears. It is something that I do frequently when the boys are in school. But it has been months since I have had the chance. It felt wonderful to lift my hands in praise and sing along with the music that pulls me into the presence of Jesus.

As I reviewed the last couple of weeks in my mind, a thought came to me. JOY!

"I delight greatly in the Lord; my soul rejoices in my God.  For he has clothed me with garments of salvation and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness, as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest , and a bride adorns herself with jewels."  Isaiah 61:10.

In January I did about two weeks of JOYFUL posts on my Facebook page. I wondered how long I could remember to keep it up, and I wasn't surprised when it ended. I am not very good a consistency and follow-up.
On the day that I ended up in ER, I was driving home from my part time job, listening and singing to tunes in the car. It has been a long time since I had done that too.
A quotation from the Movie CARS by the character Lightening McQueen kept going through my head. "I LOVE being ME."
While in the movie it was a statement of arrogance, in my mind it was more a statement of fact.

I do want to spend each day of my life here on earth, loving being me. The me that God created me to be.

I am not a supermodel, beautiful and shapely.
I am no 20 or 30 - those sweet days of youth is behind me.
I am not going to be the mother of an infant ever again - I am not the mother of Middle School-ers.
I have a special needs child who will always require more of my time, energy and patience then a neuro-typical child.
I am the wife of a man called by God into ministry - we will never be rich unless God decides to richly bless our ministry in ways that I can't imagine right now.
I will have to struggle to get to and maintain a healthy weight for the rest of my life.


I understand that I have the choice, every day, to love BEING ME or Hate my life.
I  can live life to it's fullest or I can waste it away.
I can enjoy the sunrise or dread it.
I can make fun memories for my sons, my family and friends each day that I am here on earth, or I can make none.

I was reminded this week that life is short, we have no guarantees for tomorrows.

I am choosing today to enjoy life. I hope that you all do the same. Count your blessings, make a list.

"Choose life, that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the Lord is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob." Deuteronomy 30:20.

"Trust in him at all times, O people; pour our your hearts to him, for God is our refuge." Psalm 62:8