Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Listening to the right voice

You know how sometimes in your head there are competing voices that tell you how stupid you are, what you did was wrong. Do you ever listen to that voice?
I do.
Over the years I have learned to be better about not listening to that voice of lies. However there are sometimes that I still allow the voice of truth to be drowned out by the voice of lies.

Last night was one of those times. I was at a meeting and gave an opinion that was not well received.  I get frustrated often because in this organization I have many years of experience in service in all levels of the organization.  I often fine that I am frequently disregarded  in most groups of people. It doesn't really matter the context whether it is professional, friends, family or in ministry.  I have never been able to figure out why people don't seem to think what I have to say is worth a grain of salt.

Now perhaps this is just my perception because of years of being weighed down by a rough childhood. Perhaps it is because I told my mother something once that she choose to disregard and I destroyed the innocence in our relationship.  What ever the reason...this is what I feel. And it is one of the reasons why I blog. It is the reason that I write...with a pen and paper at least my journal hears my hearts cry.

This is one of the ways that the enemy likes to pull me down and knock me out of the fight.Satan tells me that I am stupid for speaking up the way I did, that no one thinks I am anything but a stupid girl with a stupid idea. No one appreciated the years of blood, sweat and tears that I have put into this program and never will.
But, the truth is that God hears my cries, my opinion, my heart. I was also reminded this morning of another truth...
"..We were not put here to be all about about ourselves-we were put here to be all about God." (What happens when Women Say Yes to God by Lysa Terkeurst)

It is not about me...it is not about me....the words that I speak don't matter if my life is not a reflection of the love of Jesus.
So.....I am choosing not to allow the feelings of rejection to penetrate my thoughts any longer. I am choosing to forgive those people who had no idea they hurt my feelings and I am holding to the truth that I am a loved an cherish child of God. I matter not because of who I am but because of who He is.

Today is a new day.."Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" 2 Cor 5:17
Today I matter to the only one that really matters!

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