Jeremiah 29:11

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  Jeremiah 29:11

When I read this scripture, I hear the voice of God.  It's promise has carried me through the deepest valleys of my life.  Our God has plans for us. It doesn't matter what has happened in the past or what we are in the of...His plan is one of hope and holds the future....

Often in my life I have felt that whatever muck I was stuck in was all that there was for me.  The same issues, the same situations, the same for my future as was in my past...things would never get better. I often wondered, why!? Why was I always doomed to live this way, what had I done to be punished.  When others around me were getting blessings and success. 

It was then that I find myself looking at Jeremiah 29:11...a reminder that he is in charge, that his plans for to prosper me, not to hurt me, plans that promise a hope and a future. So I held on...clinging to that promise.  

One day I was reading on and discovered a nugget of truth that I had conveniently missed before. 

 "Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you" declares the Lord, "and will bring you back from captivity....." Jeremiah 29:12-14

Did you see what I missed for way too long? 

I have to call upon him, come to him and pray...he will listen to me.

I have to seek him with all my heart...I will find him. 

When I find him...he will bring my out of the captivity that I am living in..

I have discovered the truth of surrender..it is only when I surrender myself to God, when I humble myself to call upon His name and pray that I find him when I look with all of my heart.  I can't give him half of me or half of my situation. I have to surrender all of myself and all of my situation..

In this scripture Jeremiah was talking to the captives in Babylon, giving them the word from God.He a plan for them and after a time he told them that he was going to give them a new beginning and a new purpose. Just like for the people in Babylon, God used my time in unpleasant circumstances to prepare me for the blessings that he was going to give me in his time with his purpose.  

Are you experiencing a time of hopelessness or frustration? Take Jeremiah 29:11-14 to heart and see what he does with your obedience. 

Happy New Year!

All I can say is goodbye to 2013 and......HELLO 2014!

I am so ready for the new year and what blessings are in store for my family in the new year.  This year, in just a couple of more days, my husband will technically be a Full Time employee for the first time since we started on our journey serving God 6 years ago.

I know that God is in charge of our ministry and we had spent a lot of time in the last few years wondering what He was doing...waiting for fruit to appear. His timing is perfect even if I don't understand it. And believe me, I don't....

During our time of waiting, I have learned a few things worth sharing...
1. Just because you don't feel God's presence in your life, doesn't mean He is not there.
2. If you think that He has abandoned you,  check to see how far you have strayed from Him.
3. Sometimes it is good to just let God have his mysteries...we don't always need to know why things happen..

Here is my verse and word for word for 2014...

The verse is: "See, I am doing a new thing, Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wastelands." Isaiah 43:19

While I am not exactly sure what this verse will mean for my life, I do know that it is a promise for all of us..A promise and a warning.. make sure that you pay attention to the blessings (new things) in your life.

The word is "Generosity" - with new blessings comes a new responsibility to help others with what we receive in his provision and blessing. My heart's desire is that my family can begin the process, with our financial blessing to hope others in the same way that others have helped us over the last decade.

To everything there is a season....

God's Blessings in this New Year as we get to know our Savior and Lord better in this 2014!

#Enough

Thank you to Proverbs 31 ministries ACH OBS for the picture! 

Ok, so it has been a while since my last blog post! Sorry about that. I could try to come up with some lame excuses....but I won't.  Life is just pulling at me, and I am letting it pull me away from some of those things that I know that help me get through.  One of those things is writing, this blog is a part of that. 

So...in the Bible study I have been doing with the book A Confident Heart by Renee Swope, we have come to the end of the study and one of the questions that I am being asked to ponder is: "Is God Enough?" 

Yup!

That is it....that is the short answer...yesterday, today and tomorrow, the answer to "Is God Enough?" is "YUP" 

And how did I come to this answer? I am still alive. 

Over a decade ago, I came to a point in my life in which I was so frustrated with what was or was not going on in my life that I wanted to end it.  Now, it retrospect, there was nothing horrible that should have warranted my feeling suicidal. It was just that I was single, I wanted to be in a relationship. I didn't have any children, which I wanted more then anything. I was in a cruddy job that had no future room for growth. I was in debt up to my eyeballs and I saw no relief. 

Now I had been raised in Christian home. My grandmother and mother both had a faith in God that inspired many, including myself.  I knew from a very young age that Jesus loved me. I knew without a doubt that God exists. Those were things that I never really doubted. I knew that I could talk to God in prayer but misunderstood how he responded to those prayers. I had given my life to Christ in my early 20's but by my 30th birthday, I didn't have any of the things in my life that I had been praying for so fervently. A husband, children, a good job, an opportunity to pay off my debt...

In truth, I was fighting surrendering all of my life to him. I would give him something then take it back later.  There were things that I just held onto out of spite, I think.  So, of the 4th of July weekend a month after my thirtieth birthday, I travel to a motel room to "have it out" with God. I was living with my Grandmother at the time and needed some space.  I spend much of the 2 1/2 drive to St. Louis, where I was staying, thinking about ways to drive my car into an embankment or over a guardrail.  

But God was also working on my heart during that trip, because when I arrived at the hotel, I was ready to talk to him and listen for his still strong voice.  As I struggled to tell him how I was feeling lost, alone, hopeless, I slowly realized, as I read scripture, how much I meant to him. It took the first half of my three day personal retreat to stop arguing. It was during that last night and next morning that I was ready to listen.  That was when I heard his voice. 

It wasn't an audible voice per se, it was voice in my heart that told me: "Shelley, I will take care of you, in my time, in my way, if you give me all of yourself. I will give you the desires of your heart."  

The biggest desire of my heart at that time was to be married and have a family. I had finally over those few days begun praying that if I was never to get married that he would take that desire from me so that I would no longer pine for a man. 

In those last few hours of peace and quiet I/we began making lists of this I could start doing instead of pining of what I didn't have. Most of it revolved around becoming closer to Him by spending time in His presence and in His word, increasing my involvement at my church, working with a ministry outreach at my church, using my job as a platform for ministry......then I made a "deal" with God. If I wasn't married by my 35th birthday I was going to take a trip to Hawaii on my own and surrender to the thought of always being single. 

Now, to me that sounded reasonable..but in truth,  He was showing me that He was enough!

 God is in charge and does have a plan for my life. (See Jeremiah 29:11-12)   He wanted me to know that He was enough for me.     

Within two years I realized that a man that I had been hanging out with for years, was interested in dating me. He sent flowers to my work on Valentine's Day and it was a total surprise and shock to me. I had never seriously dated anyone before and I never would again.  Before my 35th birthday I was married, had a son and one more on the way. I didn't get to go to Hawaii and maybe never will, but I did figure out in that time of my life that YUP!.....God is #Enough...yesterday, today, and tomorrow. 

John 8:9-11

"At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first. until Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there.  Jesus straightened up and asked her, 'Women, where are they? Has no one condemned you?'  'No one, sir" she said. 'Then neither do I condemn you,' Jesus declared 'Go now and leave your life of sin.'"  John 8:9-11

So, there you are, surrounded by people who had seen what you've done.  It was your worst sin, one that you already feel terrible about and there they are all ready to throw stones at you... not just rock garden tiny white rocks that you can duck to miss. No these are big rocks. They are bigger than the hands of the people who are ready to throw them at you. They are not polished and shiny, they are ragged and rough, full of the ugliness of the world that they come from. 

And there in the middle of the scene stands Jesus, He steps in between you and them, stoops down and begins to write on the ground. As those around you argue about the justice that you deserve He calmly writes in the dirt.

What does he write?  You can't tell but eventually those in front of you can.  As Jesus stands up  and says to them, "If anyone of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." Then He returned to the ground and what he was writing.  The people watched him, taking their eyes off of you. Slowly the old among them drop the rocks and move away.  The young ones looked perplexed as they finally look around at each other, notice the thinning group and lose interest, walking away also. 

Finally Jesus looks at you, then at the abandoned rocks on the ground, and asks, "Where are they? Didn't anyone throw their stone?" 

When you answer with a "No"  then he comes to you, puts his hands on your shoulders and says, "Then neither do I....go now and leave your life of sin." So what do you do? 

While the above is a personalized paraphrase of the story in John, it was how I pictured myself in this verse. 
Standing in awe, waiting for the worst that both I and the others believed I deserve.  Jesus walked in, stood in front and waited for the outcome that He knew would happen.  

 He knew that He had come to pay the price for my sin and all of theirs as well. 

In the scripture Jesus asked the woman, "Has no one condemned you?" 

Let's look at the word condemn - the Dictionary.com say the definition includes the following:

•  to say in a strong and definative way that someone or something is bad or wrong. 
• to give (someone) a usually severe punishment
• to cause (someone) to suffer or live in difficult or unpleasant conditions
• to declare to be reprehensible, wrong or evil usually after weighing evidence and reservations. 
• to pronounce guilty

That was the pharisee's intention to have the group of people there condemn this woman that she was bad, give her severe punishment which could cause her to suffer after their evidence was brought before the people and she was declared guilty.

But what did Jesus do???? 

Jesus told her that He didn't condemn her either. He corrected her by telling her to "Go now and leave your life of sin" but he didn't condemn her.

In fact in Romans 8:1 we are given the promise "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." 

No Condemnation - no declaration that I am bad, no severe punishment that I deserve, no suffering, even if the evidence says that I am, I am not pronounced guilty. 

Isn't that awesome!! As I stand there surrounded by the rocks of my mistakes and sins, no one is going to be throwing them at me because they can't....they all are sinners like I am. And Jesus has said that if I am in Christ Jesus then he will not either."
Don't get me wrong...it is not a free ride.  My sin cost Jesus, His life. And I am called to repent, go and leave my life of sin. But because of who He is..I have no condemnation! 

Thank You, Lord!

Moving Forward

Sometimes over the time that I have been doing this blog, the words come slowly. Other times, like now, the words are quick and easy. They are so easy because they are my story.  

This past weekend I was a Spiritual Director on a 3 day Spiritual Renewal type weekend, what some have called a crash course in Christianity.  I have been involved putting on these weekends for 14 years and I am always surprised at how much I receive as I serve God's seeking daughters. . 

What I had not expected, as I was reading through Chapter 4 of A Confident Heart by Renee Swope, was the revelation that it was time to stop using that pain from my past. It had become my excuse for continuing to be overweight. I have been blessed with a man who thinks that I am cute just the way I am and would love me no matter what I looked like on the outside.  

 I have been convicted in this study that it is time to move forward and stop using the excuses.  God has a plan and purpose for my life but if I am a healthy weight and I will be more able to do the things that He might be calling me to do.  I will feel better about myself and He will be proud of me that I stopped leaning on excuses, and start leaning on him. 

"'For I know that plans that I have for you,' declares the Lord,' plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and pray to me and I will listen to you. Your will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,' declares the Lord, 'and will bring you back from captivity.'" Jeremiah 29:11-14. 

 That is me Lord, I am seeking you with all of my heart for my hope and future and I am praying that you will bring me back from this captivity of believing that being overweight is the only way that I can be protected. For I know that You are the one who will protect me, I have nothing to fear or doubt. My hope is in You! 
Amen

Been there, Done That and Loved IT!

I absolutely love OBS (Online Bible Study's). As a girl who is kinda out in the country and without a lot of close personal Christian friends, it is a wonderful way to spend time with people who are searching and studying the Word of God and trying to grow.  

I did the last OBS through Proverbs 31 ministries and it was wonderful. Awesome teachers, great book, great speakers and a group of ladies who commented and encouraged each other all of the way through. 

I learned so much through the "What Happens When Women Say Yes to God" book/bible study this summer.

One important lesson was that I was doing a terrible job of getting into the Word daily. With the OBS I was forced to be in a reflective state of mind at least once a daily when I opened up the email that I got. It is sad to say but it is true. 

That study also taught me a lot about being obedient even in the small things to be able to watch God at work in my life and in the life of those around me. 

I am hopeful that this OBS of Renee Swope's A Confident Heart  will help me have one, because I am not feeling very confident right now. The boys (my 7 and 8 years old guys) are both having behavior issues at school. Ugh!!

Anyway, I know that God can use the upcoming study to help even me!

Took a break!

This past few weeks I have taken a break from blogging. I have been preparing for a spiritual renewal weekend and working on bible studies from church and...and...and. Well I am sure that you know how these things go.  Anyway I thought that it was time to at least say "Hi" since I will be starting a new online bible study on Weds.

Here is the thought for the day: "This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24

I am rejoicing today because I have been given one more chance do something good for the Lord today. Even though it is now afternoon, the kids are home, the dishes need to be washed and the Laundry needs folding, it is not too late to do something for Him even yet today!

Never give up trying!